I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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