i barfeds in our rink
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
