im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
