Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
