what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
