I wish I could punch you in the face.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Where is the hickey?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
