i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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