and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
