How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
