3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's never too late to be topless.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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