great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
