butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
