I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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