I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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