the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I currently don't understand fingers.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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