i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
