on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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