So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
