Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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