Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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