you guys were way drunker than both of me
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
lol hangovers are for mortals.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
