Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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