Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
