Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
