i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
