Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
