1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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