Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
