yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
