Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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