He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
