btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just want to make out with him forever
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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