Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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