sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
