i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
