he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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