After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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