I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
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