She's JV to your varsity
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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