Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
