kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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