Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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