I didn't shave. On purpose
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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