Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
