Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
