It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
