its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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