ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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