yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
