so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
