if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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