how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
