Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
