they need to just BURY HIM!
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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