I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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