I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
